The Introverted Extrovert

The kind of person you are, at this breathing moment, is not always how you would have imagined yourself to be. There are still those goals you didn’t achieve, those words you couldn’t say, the chances you couldn’t take and the ideas you couldn’t implement. You tend to regret some of those, while some just stay at the back of your head, some turn into “I wish” and some we simply forget. We may think we’re a bi-product of good and bad decisions and even our situations, but is it always so?

There is another very important element to how we are and how we behave, and that is our very basic nature. So broadly categorising humans into extroverts and introverts, I would like to talk about a very interesting mix of this category, something very close to what I’ve seen : the introverted extrovert, that someone inherent in most of us. These are the people you see all around you, or right in front of you, in that mirror. These are the people who appear to be happy, fun-loving, out going and mix around well, but in those dark moments when the lights go off, they carry unknown inhibitions. Yes that smily person that you see being friendly with everyone, has a lot stored in that small little heart. They are people who keep things in, they are emotionally available for others, but when it comes to discussing their own problems, they shutdown.

Imagine the feeling of having to say so much but not being expressive, of having being hurt but not being able to convey it, of having all those words roll down as tears in the silence of the night. Does it even feel right?  They would rather keep it all in and suffocate themselves, than to let it out all and hurt another. They know what pain feels like, and believe keeping quiet is the only way to save another. It’s like growing up with an invisible shell, something that really shapes up how you are as an individual. It’s like being outraged by the mishaps all around you, but being unable to raise your voice against the injustice. Why? Because You just become so tolerable to the pain.

So the next time you see someone so silent to happenings, wait a moment and think, not why but how. And yes, like everything has a saturation point, these people too. So what happens when it gets too much, or how much is too much? The answer is an emotional outburst. When years of accumulated pain comes out at once, as a combination of anger, words and tears, you know it’s been too much. And this basic nature we unknowingly carry, where does it come from? It is basically a product of your response to your upbringing, the people you live around with, and mainly the kind of society you are raised in. In a society like ours, where the response to every situation has been to stay quiet and bear it, people have just become more and more locked down. We wish to be strong and raise our voice, but we don’t know how. So now, take a moment, Look at the people around you, observe them and analyse them, because not everyone can let their heart out. Just a little attention to behaviour could really help someone open up and build up. Take a moment off your phone screens, and start taking clues. We’re all going through something or the other, but who do we have, except each other?


73 thoughts on “The Introverted Extrovert

  1. Hello, Prerna! Thanks for liking my post and following my blog. I appreciate it. Feel free to comment any time you like.


  2. A wise post; thank you. I have a friend who is obviously smart and capable of emotional depth. Yet she does not share what she thinks and feels with me, though I have repeatedly asked her to. This deeply frustrates me, to the point of wondering why we’re friends, yet when I look at her family circumstances — a gay Ugandan, raised by a still-homophobic family in a pathological cultural environment — I understand why she keeps her innermost self hidden. Thank you for reminding us that we can’t know the influences to which each of us is responding, consciously and otherwise, and that patience, not judgment, is called for.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Good morning dear Prerna. Let me say beforehand that there are no little or big hearts in a woman as afar as empathy and solidarity with someone else’s plight is concerned. This is a very nice article. I would add that not only you must look at people but you must direct your gaze at their faces and start developing your “mirror neurons network” in earnest. Oftentimes words are not necessary. That is precisely a critically important subject that I am researching to discuss as I am writing the manuscript of my second book “Emotional frustration-the hushed plague.”
    A big kiss. Arrivederci!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I definitely resonate with your post! I’m an introvert who loves people – often the listener, but even with those who might want to listen to me, I struggle and feel locked inside myself. Thank you for sharing – it’s good to know I’m not alone!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. This was a post that has made me consider what it might be like to be an introverted extrovert. I’m just a socially anxious introvert so I only know what it feels like to be the person who often doesn’t know what to say in a conversation or worries for the days and hours leading up to a social engagement. I’ve always been envious of those who seem more put together who can speak concisely and openly without a hint of nervousness or fear. It never occurred to me that introverted extroverts are playing pretend to some degree as well.

    Liked by 1 person

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